Tuesday 7 August 2012

Miscarriage recovery.....

Recovery has been goin on well so far.... trust me it feels really gud to write abt it...makes u feel as if some1 is listening to you... anyway.... i still cry sumtimes... i cant help it... feel so empty that little baby is not there... n dat i dun feel pregnant anymore... it makes u crazy...i try to brush it off at times... but it easy said than done.. i dun feel like talking to certain ppl or talking abt certain things.. it feels as if d body doesnt want to talk abt it o rejects listening to it..guess it part of the recovery process...

Im amazed how ppl treat u while ur in pain... they say miscarriage is a common thing and to get over it... lik i said, its easier said than done... if u think that bein in d labor room giving birth to a dead baby is normal... i am not sure what to say abt it..its a trauma.. d pain stays in d heart for lifetime...I did not losse the baby cz i din want to be pregnant.. i lost it due to an accident and i cudnt save my baby... imagine trying to keep d baby in coz its still has a heartbeat and d amniotic fluid is running low... serisly, no1 shud undergo this pain ever in their life... physical recovery could be fast perhaps.... but emotionally, its like a roller coaster... recovery include, denial, blaming other /ourselves for what happened, accepting the loss n getting prepared to try again.... i am probably in between the third n fourth stage... I am glad that i have a supporting husband.....

My aunt n mom stayed with me for a few days n prepared so medicinal food for me to hv a fast recovery... i feel cold at times, so im equipped with socks and slip in's most of d time... I dun have appetite to eat... so weightloss has been prominent. My bowel evacuation has not been smooth since i had d contraction... 2 weeks ago... i gota be on those horrible ducolux pills... i get tummy cramps due to colic at times... i am still spotting to date.. i tot it was supposed to stop in a week... probably its due to my physical activities.. I bleed more when i walk too much..

Din have much ppl coming to visit me.....among em were hubby's frens fly, my close fren loges, n rita and her sis... dats all.. none of my in laws came to visit me... well, i used to visit em....help em to cook or help em with some work when they were sick.. so i was amazed none visited me... so d lesson learned is that, every1 has their own life... we dun need to be an angel to please every1 coz , it doesnt mean anything to them... when it comes to hardtimes, ppl dun wana share it with you... they only want to be there when ur happy... ive learned to keep a distance from those ppl. Even strangers try to help in wther emotionally n spiritually... i am nt asking u to sit n cry with me... atleast a visit... Dats a wake up slap for me... Thanks god, i had to learn it d hard way...

I have to keep myself occupied for the next 3/4 mths till i cud try again... i really hope my body recovers, emotionally n physically..probably, im strong mentally...thanks to my loved ones.. so i plan to go for a holiday.. color my hair or probably perm it.. hmmm..... facial and spa... n probably loose some weight... eat healthy and get my baby making machine in top condition agn.. haha!! Neway, thanks Kak Arena... u made me feel btr... n d best part is dat ... v never met b4... ill probably gv u a hug if i c u next tm... thanks fr ur caring words... Luv ya.. TC...

My next visit wit Dr.Wong is on d 10th August 2012... i have a list of questions to ask.... will update later.. till then, may god bless all.. XOXO


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